It is very easy to get into a habit of wishing our life away by comparing someone else’s. We all do it. But by doing so, we deprive ourselves of our own happiness. We all have our own journeys, our own accomplishments, our own chapters to write. And worrying about what other people think and obsessing about other opinions, robs you of your own unique life. Unfortunately, it isn’t easy to stop comparing ourselves with other people, especially with everybody flaunting their “perfect” lives across all Social Media platforms these days. Staring at fake smiles, perfect sunsets, and those perfect poses will always make us yearn for that picture perfect life! But it isn’t always real. And so, It is important to focus on your own self-worth and not to give other opinions attention. So how do we stop comparing ourselves to others – here are some points to consider:
1. Compare yourself with.. yourself:
if you need to compare yourself to anyone, it should be you and no-one else. You should take stock of just how much you have achieved over the years, the obstacles you have overcome, the goals you have reached. Your past experiences and achievements will be the testament to how far you have come.
2. Compare yourself to a positive behaviour or a skill:
If you feel you need to compare yourself to someone, it is healthy to find a person that inspires you, who has a skill or behaviour that you admire. A person who may have qualities or skills that exceed yours, however, it is a positive thing for your life, to learn from them, to gain that knowledge and wisdom from them, and in turn to add your own value and unique qualities to these skills. A great example of this is, if you know someone who is better at public speaking than yourself, take note of how they do it, watch their body language, learn from them. Adapt these skills for your own learning. This is a positive comparison, rather than basing a comparison to others through material gain.
3. Concentrate on your own self-confidence:
I think the biggest drawback with comparing yourself to others is that by doing this, you chip away at your own self-worth and confidence. Coach yourself instead to build yourself up to a point where you are unshakable. It is always about loving yourself first. And always remember, the people who mind, don’t matter, and the people who matter, don’t mind.
4. Finally, express gratitude:
I spoke about the importance of gratitude in my last blog and how essential it is to be grateful for what you have and of course, sharing gratitude to people around you because you never know how much that could mean to someone, or what they are going through. Giving someone a smile or telling them how grateful you are for them, could be the only sunshine they see that day. It is important for us all to break the habit of focusing on others, and this will take time. Referring to the points above is a great start to change that habit. It is all about focusing on creating better versions of ourselves, and to build on our own experiences instead of others. It all starts with being mindful of our own wanderings, and of course, begins with gratitude…
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick
Are YOU Struggling with letting go, and do you find that you constantly comparing yourself to others? Do you need a Life Coach to teach you the skills to overcome these obstacles? CLICK HERE now to book a free 30min call with me